Bolton boss Sam Allardyce will raise money for charity this summer by attempting to scale Everest. But between now and then it seems Graeme Souness is the Premiership manager with the greatest mountain to climb.
A new rift with Craig Bellamy which threatens the striker's Tyneside future, his two January signings struck down by injuries and his side still unable to escape the bottom half of the table - Souness has had few worse weekends.
The 1-0 scoreline doesn't begin to tell the full tale of Arsenal's overwhelming dominance - and it was little wonder the Scot departed North London with a face like thunder. Four months into his St James's Park reign, the problems show no sign of abating.
At least Souness can count upon the services of Shay Given in a United squad for whom under-performance has become a recurring theme. Had it not been for the stellar talents of the inspirational Irishman, the Magpies boss would have been forced to endure an embarrassing drubbing.
On an afternoon when Newcastle suffered the 1,000th league defeat in the club's history, there was nothing apart from Given's fine display of defiance to raise the spirits.
Bellamy - so effective this season - played no part following his latest episode of insolence which drew condemnation from team-mates and manager alike. It seems the Welshman has learned little and, for a team with so much ground to make up, this was the last thing Newcastle needed.
His appearance in front of the television cameras shortly after the final whistle had been blown only made things worse.
Celestine Babayaro did not travel to the capital, while Jean-Alain Boumsong limped off prematurely clutching his hamstring. Souness has worked hard to reshape his defence in recent weeks but, with £9m of new talent now facing enforced spells on the treatment table, he is back to square one.
What was needed was a show of spirit, fight and courage. That Newcastle - Premiership winners just twice on their travels this term - were outclassed from the first whistle was sadly predictable.
Within 30 seconds Ashley Cole was allowed the time and space to deliver an accurate cross which Robert Pires knocked back into the danger zone.
Kieron Dyer failed to clear but although Mathieu Flamini seemed a certain scorer from inside the six-yard box, Given made the first of many fine reflex saves.
The reprieve was temporary as Newcastle struggled to retain possession - Laurent Robert was the main culprit - and the Gunners were allowed to establish an attacking rhythm.
With the visiting midfield offering their back four little protection, there was an inevitability about Bergkamp's 19th-minute strike.
With Olivier Bernard nowhere to be seen, Flamini produced a cross which dissected the Newcastle defence with an ease which will not have pleased Souness.
The midfielder's delivery took Boumsong and Titus Bramble out of the equation and, with Steven Taylor unable to hold off his experienced opponent, the Dutchman directed a cushioned shot past Given.
As usual, the Magpies lacked nothing in industry and endeavour. But, in terms of guile, craft and precision passing, the gulf in class between two teams separated by nine Premiership places at the start of play was all too evident.
With Boumsong and Bramble's partnership still in its infancy, with Bernard and Taylor having both been exposed, with United unable to win the midfield battle, the vast majority of the first half was contested inside United's half. Robert's contribution was negligible and with Shola Ameobi struggling to impose himself in an unfamiliar position on the right flank, the service to Alan Shearer was pitiful.
The interval came with Newcastle having failed to test the unconvincing Manuel Almunia and the sole surprise was that Arsenal had not increased their advantage.
Aaron Hughes was introduced for Taylor as Souness attempted to stiffen his defence. Yet had it not been for Given's intervention to thwart Henry after Boumsong had conceded a dangerous free-kick - one of his last contributions - the Gunners would have extended their lead within five minutes of the restart.
For as long as they could restrict Arsenal to 1-0, United could retain some semblance of hope. Robert almost atoned for a poor performance with a 56th-minute free-kick which flashed just wide of Almunia's left-hand post, but it was to be his final action of the afternoon.
The introduction of Charles N'Zogbia made little difference as Newcastle's shortcomings continued to be highlighted. At least United had one player who performed to his potential in Given, but how long a goalkeeper who can count Arsenal among his legion of admirers will be content to remain on Tyneside remains to be seen.
Three breathtaking saves in 14 minutes underlined the Irishman's class and kept the Magpies - undeservedly - in the match. Henry was twice denied by saves Given had no right to make, while Pires, the beneficiary of some more loose marking with 15 minutes remaining, looked on in disbelief as United's No 1 struck again. At that stage, Newcastle had still to produce an effort on target.
Lee Bowyer addressed that statistic nine minutes from the end as he broke into the Arsenal box. But the midfielder's weak attempt - comfortably saved by Almunia - typified his side's challenge and left Souness to contemplate yet another afternoon of trouble and strife.
