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Danger on the red carpet

Jun 3 2004

By Jane Hall, The Journal

 

Oh, it's ladies night and the feeling's right - well, actually, in some cases it's just all wrong.

Ladies' fright would be a better way to describe some of the outfits The Journal's been witness to over the past few weeks. Something just happens to attractive women when invited to a glitzy bash - they panic or flash everything they've got.

Thankfully there were some winners within the pile, so, to you women we raise a salute.

***********

Maybe it was a magic spell or some special potion, but at just 14 Hermione Grainger (sorry, Emma Watson) seems to have transformed suddenly from a swotty Hogwarts schoolgirl to a leading lady.

Pictured here at both the New York and London premieres of Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban in the past week, she outshone the entertainment world's brightest stars on both occasions to show how far she has come since she first hit the big screen in 2001.

She is now a sophisticated young woman who is developing an elegant style of her own - and showing all the signs of being the international movie star she is undoubtedly developing into.

Hayley Westenra was certainly on song when she walked down the red carpet at last week's Classical Brit Awards in a shimmering floor-length blue gown.

The 17-year-old New Zealand soprano may have lost out on a gong, but she certainly won in the fashion stakes, showing her older, but not necessarily wiser female colleagues, how to stand out from the crowd for all the right reasons.

It's pale, it's peach, it's the outfit that shows Charlie Brooks is not an EastEnd bitch. Charlie stole the show in this dress when she appeared at the recent British Soap Awards.

It is hard to fault her choice of outfit. It is good to see the newly pregnant star has put the devious, husband-killing, former-hooker role behind her and embraced her sex siren self while she still can.

For pregnancy gowns undoubtedly await...

For once "It" girl Tara Palmer Tompkinson looks hot, hot, hot in this stunning dress made from chillis by British designer Tristan Webber.

Tara usually likes to show everything all at once and top-half-wise all her dresses have seen embarrassing moments almost to rival Janet Jackson.

But she donned this unusual gown for the new Walkers Sensations advertising campaign, and The Journal reckons she looks good enough to eat.

The bad...

Coronation Street actress Suranne Jones is an attractive woman.

So why did she decide to wear this black number for the British Soap Awards?

Yes, this dress is lovely and black is a slimming colour for those of us who can't boast a model figure.

But this style is all wrong. It makes her look wider and more buxom than she really is. Less is more.

And her colleague's dress makes your eyes hurt just looking at it.

In my opinion, it is ugly, ill-fitting and unfashionable.

Coronation Street's Sally Whittaker didn't win any fashion plaudits at the British Soap Awards in this outfit.

Nice man, shame about the dress. Geri Halliwell must have had a brainstorm when she picked her babydoll out of the wardrobe to pose alongside Blue's Duncan James to promote Capital FM's Party in the Park concert this July.

It looks like someone has spilt a can of paint over her little - and we mean little - number. Could it be that Geri's favourite pooch, Harry, bit off more than he could chew?

What was OK when the Spice Girls were an international force to be reckoned with doesn't hang well on a soon-to-be 32-year-old.

Sopranos Tsakane Valentine and Jo Appleby, of the world's first opera band, Amici Forever, may be classically trained, but that obviously doesn't extend to their dress sense.

Had they perhaps turned up to the wrong event? The pair, who lost out on the album of the year at the Classical Brit Awards to Welsh baritone Bryn Terfel, look like they're getting ready to strut their stuff at a 1970s disco in these matching gold tinfoil creations.

Their dresses are turkeys in more ways than one.

and the ugly...

Mishaps in Gordon Ramsay's Hell's Kitchen have meant that more than half of the celebrity diners have gone home hungry.

But it's not just in the reality TV kitchen that mishaps have been happening.

Glamour model Jordan (or Katie Price as she prefers to be known these days) planned to sit down for a gourmet dinner in this extraordinary number. It is awful on so many levels there is nothing positive to say.

But that hasn't been Jordan's only fashion faux pas.

Having discovered she was all dressed up with nowhere to go when the restaurant closed early, Jordan returned the following night in an equally suspect combination of hipster pedal pushers and cropped jacket.

Hasn't anyone told Jordan you are meant to dress up for dinner, not down?

What was model Jodie Marsh thinking of when she arrived to watch Jack Dee - Live at the Apollo in Hammersmith in a Beverly Hillbillies get-up?

OK, Jodie Marsh with her clothes on is a sight to warm even the hardest of hearts.

But these clothes are quite hideous, even if she is sparing us the traumatic sight of seeing her pants (again).

But she is more than making up for it in the cleavage stakes.

American Susan Irby may be known as the Bikini Chef, but was there any need for her to don a two-piece to launch her book?

In London? In a park? In daylight?

What's wrong with a black-tie-and-canapés do?

All right, there may be an element of jealousy here.

You have to admit Susan looks slim, trim and confident. But how many of us would voluntarily wear our favourite dish - in this case salmon?

Yes, this remarkable swimwear is made from salmon skin. May we suggest Ms Irby sticks to cooking salmon rather than wearing it?

 

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