Over 22 days last month the Edinburgh Festival Fringe offered audiences some 1,695 shows to choose from, one of which was ALISON CARR'S Patricia Quinn Saved My Life I WAS not alone in representing the North East at the largest arts festival in the world. Written in a dining room in Fenham: The Musical! subjected local lads Ashley Frieze and Chris Parr to an ancient Gypsy curse while they were trying to compose the West End's next blockbuster. The only way for them to break the spell was to write their way out! Undoubtedly an idea with potential, and helped along by some witty songs, Frieze and Parr's enthusiasm was let down only by the fact that their acting abilities left something to be desired. That Geordie twang could also be heard resonating around Princes Street due to Donna Air's turn in Biographies in a Bag. The show consisted of three monologues, two per night so who you saw depended on when you went. In a classic case of Sod's Law, the day I turned up was a day Donna didn't, but Rachel Ogilvy and Lynn Ferguson did not disappoint. Devised by two Durham University students, Shaking Cecelia trapped a neurotic depressive and a manic extrovert in an (actual!) mini and took them on a road trip from Hell. While more could have been made of the Little Britain-esque folk the duo met along the way, good performances made this an enjoyable production and the filmed backdrop was something a bit different. The region was also providing inspiration for new writing this year, albeit the darkest possible element. In Fanny and Faggot, writer Jack Thorne pulled the audience into the fantasies of two dangerously-bored 10-year-olds. Innocent games gradually took a chilling turn as the girls' thoughts moved to what it would be like to kill someone. This alone was provocative stuff, but Thorne interweaved the story of these girls with that of the notorious Mary and Norma Bell, bringing in the 1968 trial through actual court accounts and findings. As the girls, Elicia Daly and Sheena Irving gave astonishing performances, and being confined with those disturbing children is an experience I won't soon forget. Away from the local offerings there was the usual eclectic mix of the good, the bad and a few hidden gems. Those falling into the former category included The Aquatic Ape, which submerged audiences in a shark cage with a murderous married couple; Jade the Folk Singer's delightfully dippy Happy Show; and Anorak of Fire in which the world of train-spotter Gus Gascoigne was exposed in a comical and heart-warming performance by James Holmes. I also enjoyed The Andy Warhol Syndrome, starring Jenny Éclair. While the what-happens-to-reality-stars-after-their-15-minutes-are-over plot was not that original, it was done well and Eclair's performance as a dinner lady turned celeb impressed me. Now I was well-prepared for the fact that not everything would be to my taste, but unfortunately I turned up some real stinkers. The highlight of Say Sorry was my mobile phone ringing (oops!), a welcome distraction from the dirge on stage. I'm all for theatre tackling social issues, but the plot involving domestic violence in a same-sex relationship was so earnest it hurt, while the performance from writer-actor Alex Baker was atrocious. Just as bad, if not worse, were Doniet Macfarlane's lame attempts at character comedy and garbled stand-up in Colin Montgomerie Stole My Life. As for the unexpected gems, I must mention Horror Vacui, a darkly comic and cartoonish tale of three eccentric sisters, and Urgent and Confidential: Nigerian Spam Scam Scam in which actor Dean Cameron offered an hilarious look into what happened when he did not delete that spam e-mail, instead creating the persona of a lonely Florida millionaire and entering into a lengthy correspondence with the scammers! I end with my pick of the Fringe. It is not a single show, however, but a company - Population:3. With their surprise hit of last year, The Wicker Woman, back due to popular demand, and quite rightly so, this talented group also treated audiences to The Elephant Woman, a side-achingly funny spoof of the David Lynch classic that still has me smiling! ALISON CARR | 
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