Name this season's UEFA Cup finalists. No, not in five seconds' time. Name them right now. Well done to those who instinctively recalled Espanyol and Sevilla slugging it out at Hampden the other night. Now, how many of you actually watched it? Those that did neither need feel no shame. It's not your fault that supposedly the second-most prestigious club fixture in Europe now passes the public by almost as easily as an FA Vase final. To think it's only eight years since there were three European trophies worth fighting for. Trust UEFA, who would always sooner nit-pick than treat football's worst ills, to devalue their own prize assets. But the decline of the UEFA Cup - following the Cup Winners' Cup demise - says as much about our appetite for football as it does about European football's "governing" body. Not that that is to let the Swiss shower off the hook. UEFA's decision to scrap the Cup Winners' Cup in 1999 had a dual purpose: to accommodate more teams in the Champions League AND the UEFA Cup. More teams, it was claimed, would make for a more coveted UEFA Cup. Now, that initial expansion of the Champions League was a mistake which further undermined the credibility of a once-incomparable tournament already reduced to a misnomer. But expanding it again three years later was a disaster for both of UEFA's knock-out competitions. For it not only allowed for the sixth, seventh or eighth-best team in certain countries to force their mediocrity upon European audiences, but opened the way for the introduction of UEFA Cup group stages. And so a disaster became a megatsunami-scale catastrophe. The Champions League, though a contradiction in terms, is a sponsors' Mecca; a cash cow that UEFA have reason to milk for all its worth. The UEFA Cup? "Anudder" matter entirely; a competition whose only modern-day strength lay in its knock-out format. Would that its new group stages were only a shameless exploitation of fans' loyalty. But unfortunately for UEFA and anyone who cares for the tradition of a once-great competition, they are a crashing, spirit-crushing bore. This season, Newcastle played 12 UEFA Cup games - six of those against teams previously unheard of - without even reaching the quarter-finals. Those were among 355 games played by 155 clubs in the competition all told. Yes, 155. And that's discounting the 38 teams who failed to qualify via the InterToto Cup. So that's more than 32,000 minutes of football contested by more than 2000 players, all for a place in a final shown on ITV 4. That strikes me as madness on a scale rarely seen in peacetime Europe. Not least in an age when televised football is already beyond saturation levels. Time was when the UEFA Cup final was one of just five games a year you could be sure to watch live on the box. This midweek alone, it was one of seven live games available to UK satellite viewers, and took second billing on Wednesday night - a distant second, at that - to a Championship play-off. Quite simply, the UEFA Cup cannot continue in its current form. Deserted stadia and Open University-esque viewing figures would be the death of it. Ideally, the Champions League should be trimmed down to improve standards in its sister tournament. But money dictates that that is a non-starter. So it's the UEFA Cup itself which must get slim - and slim fast. For you know what's really sad? That this hulking has-been of a competition is now the height of ambition for all but four English clubs - Newcastle United, even with Big Sam on board, included. The UEFA Cup has, depending on your viewpoint, become nothing more than a sop to those permanently shut out of the Champions League or a reward for mediocrity. Neither of which justifies its existence. --------------------------------------------------------- Not so great expectations To the untrained eye, the thin knot of fans who welcomed Sam Allardyce to Newcastle on Tuesday may have looked a bit sad. Where several thousand greeted messrs Robson, Gullit and Dalglish at St James’s, several dozen turned up for Big Sam. Yet another measure of the Magpies’ decline these last few years, it appeared. Even the man himself, though not unused to small crowds, may have appeared a little underwhelmed. But Allardyce should have been encouraged. Yes, the distinct drop in charva numbers at his coronation said something about the downbeat mood surrounding a once-vibrant club. But at the same time, it proved that expectations of Allardyce are lower than of any other modern-day Magpie manager bar, arguably, Glenn Roeder. Where Bobby, Ruud and Kenny were under pressure to carry the torch lit by Kevin Keegan, there is no burning demand of Allardyce save for restoring Newcastle’s pride. And considering his predecessors have buckled under the heat of that pressure like tarmac in a heatwave, that can’t be a bad thing. --------------------------------------------------------- Play ball with Auntie Beeb Sam Allardyce has made a good impression this week, but I’m still troubled that his appointment at Newcastle coincides with them being sued by his fellow Panorama “victim” Kevin Bond. The word I’m hearing from within United is that the two cases do not compare because Bond – sacked by the Magpies following the programme – was caught talking on tape by the BBC and Big Sam wasn’t. But if they really want the issue put to bed, why don’t Newcastle persuade
Allardyce to end his boycott of the Beeb? It’s not as if the Magpies are in much of a position to short-change anybody at present, let alone licence payers. | 
