Last week, we discussed Summer Holidays. Paul Dixon regales us with his synopsis on fellow travellers.
"French men smoke foul cigarettes and French ladies do appear to have more body hair than Pete Sampras.
"German males still favour feathered haircuts worn by 70s pop groups, while German ladies still go for the frizzy bubble perm like the actresses in Dallas.
"Then we have the Brits and the men who are going for too-small T-shirts and the italic print tattoo at the bottom of the back showing undying love for Shazza.
Meanwhile, their lady wives seem to go for saggy breasts and Lambert and Butler. "Even the nature of the holidays has changed as regards communications and newspapers.
"Ten years ago, you could get more information from home if you went on an expedition up the Limpopo than if you went to Costa Packet and newspapers, however old, had a street value of crack cocaine.
"And why it is that Scandinavians and Germans, who live in a similar climate to us, go on holiday and seemingly flick a switch and turn brown instantly?
"When Brits arrive abroad we look like milk bottles and after three days our bodies are like your favourite team's football shirt. And why is it only Brits who sweat profusely abroad?"
