It's my pleasure May 20 2005
We ask the big questions. Questions which are quite literally bigger than the average question. more
Taking the biscuit May 13 2005
What really gets your dander up? What engages you, makes your blood boil? What would you get off your backside and do something about? more
I can't stand losing May 6 2005
And so my search for power is over. After years of blood, sweat and tears - I gave the blood - the game is up for The Clear Blue Water party. more
It's party time Apr 29 2005
And so, we're off. The Clear Blue Water Party is now up and running. Slowly. Wheezily. And taking frequent rests. more
It's me party Apr 22 2005
The election is all around us. It's everywhere we go. And aren't we having fun? more
Suffering the runs Apr 22 2005
I watched the London Marathon last weekend. It's certainly a magnificent spectacle. more
Is God on the ball? Apr 15 2005
Is it love you're after, or just a good time? Eh? I want to know, I want to know. The God debate rolls on - surprisingly we weren't able to conclude whether He existed or not within a fortnight. more
Mysteries of life Apr 8 2005
While other newspapers explore such trivia as `Is a woman ever too old for jeans?' we get at the real stuff, `Does God exist?'. The answer to the jeans conundrum by the way lies not in the age of the jean wearer but in the size of the derriere. more
My eye in the sky Apr 1 2005
And God so loved the world that he created Kylie. And he also created Olive and George (honest - I kid you not) from the Dublin Cuffes. more
The meaning of life Mar 25 2005
And so, Easter is upon us, the time the Bible tells us "Jesus so loved the disciples that he bought each of them a chocolate egg." more
It's Party time Mar 18 2005
Election fever is upon us. Everyone is feeling sick. The Parties shamelessly jostle for our affection. more
Put me in control Mar 11 2005
I'm sure I'm not alone in studying the recruitment pages every week. It doesn't mean I'm unhappy at work. It just means I'm utilising my journalistic antennae, carefully studying the ebb and flow of the social structures that bind us together. That sounds reasonably convincing. more
Holidays from hell Mar 4 2005
We've been recalling the joy that is a family holiday, one of the inevitable by-products of which is divorce. more
I hate Londoners Feb 25 2005
The excitement just keeps coming. Chazza's knees up, the Election Bun Fight starting, and now the Olympics bid in full glorious flight. more
No manifesto without Kylie Feb 18 2005
And so the good news just keeps on coming. Charles is going to make an honest woman of Camilla, and I'm sure we're all absolutely thrilled. more
Bubble perms and Englishmen Feb 18 2005
Last week, we discussed Summer Holidays. Paul Dixon regales us with his synopsis on fellow travellers. more
Groundhog day Feb 11 2005
And so, summer remains months away. As does spring. So let's torment ourselves with holiday memories. Last week I introduced the subject of All Inclusive - The Pig's Choice. The type drawn to All You Can Eat promotions. more
I'm exclusive, me Feb 4 2005
And now we're locked into winter. We have 17 hours of darkness a day, forcing us to spend time in the house with our appalling families. Good news indeed. And so, inevitably, our thoughts turn to summer holidays, now seeming so long ago. more
Fatal extraction Jan 28 2005
The year has started with a wonderful gift. We've got a dentist! We're absolutely delighted and pathetically grateful. We didn't think to query why he had any vacancies. We saw the advertisement, and were on him like a tramp on a kipper. more
Frost on the telly Jan 21 2005
Hopefully the dreadful windy weather is behind us. Pleasingly, lots of people I didn't like had their fences blown down. This remains a source of rich pleasure to me. I think it's God's way of telling me I'm The Chosen One. more
