Alan Milburn looks heaps better, years younger and much more relaxed since he gave up his cabinet post last year because he wanted to spend more time at home with his family. Like many people who go through a life-changing experience, Mr Milburn has fallen into the trap of thinking that gives him the perfect chance to offer an opinion from the other side of the fence. In other words, having tried it and done it and found it worked, he now thinks it would be wonderful if more of us had the opportunity to follow suit. Hence his radical nice-work-if-you-can-it strategy document presented to the Government this week packed with great ideas for making parenting more amenable, flexible and even fun. As the mother of two teenagers at the sharp end of the cost-me-a-fortune stage, and having come through the childcare-cost-me-a-fortune stage, I would be the last person to decry anything that offers to make the role of a parent less of a financial challenge. But on behalf of all my childless friends - those who have chosen to remain childless, those who are regrettably childless and those who never married but do, amazingly, have a full and busy life outside of the workplace - can I just say they must be getting increasingly irritated by the constant "carrots" being dangled in front of parents to help them find what Alan Milburn calls "a better work-life balance." These non-parents are the ones who have to change their holidays to accommodate colleagues with children, who do not have the option of flexible or part-time hours, who, in small businesses, have to find staff prepared to cover maternity leave not knowing when or if the new mum is going to come back to work, who are expected to cover when mums have to rush off to school or stay off when a little one is ill and can't go to nursery. Theirs is generally a thankless task - but they can only complain to each other. To do otherwise is seen as churlish and unsupportive of the parents around them - and yet inside they must be seething. If the working mother has it tough and busy and costly, then so too does any conscientious employee, regardless of parental or marital status. We are all working for the same things - to put food on the table and pay the mortgage. I accept that parents need a helping hand at certain times but to stand with hands outstretched waiting to see what incentive comes next is presumptuous in the extreme. Let's have a new strategy by all means. But unless it involves first lowering student loans, helping first-time buyers, initiating a savings incentive to encourage couples to save up before they have a baby - as they did, let's face it, in the old days - we might as well throw the baby out with the bathwater right now. ********** Alehouse football Eldest son and I were in a city centre shop the other day debating the merits of the new England football shirt . On sale for around £25, it is bright red and has a white cross on the shoulder to denote the cross of St George but otherwise seems pretty unremarkable, especially viewed alongside the figure-hugging slimline shirts of so many of the other European teams. "Why can't we have a shirt like those?" I wondered aloud. A helpful young man nearby gave the answer. "Because we've all got beer bellies and the shirts have to go over them," he volunteered "We'd never squeeze into the right fitted ones. We need long-length shirts to go round us and over our bellies. " I'm sorry I asked. David Beckham? To quote Victor Meldrew, "I don't believe it." ********** It was great to see the Queen looking so radiant, fit and well on her French visit. And with the world seemingly on tenterhooks right now, I think she showed great bravery on her frequent walkabouts. Yes, there may well have been security men and bodyguards every few yards, but it must still be an ordeal to be so visible and so exposed out in the open when there are so many lunatics in our midst. ********** Air raising stuff for BA's girls All right. The patterned pleated skirts and velour hats worn by British Airways staff for the last 10 years weren't particularly wonderful. But at least the Paul Costello designs were functional, didn't crease and were immediately identifiable. Julien Macdonald's replacements, unveiled this week, feature - for the women - tight three-button fitted jackets with patch pockets over the hips and straight skirts or trousers, topped off with jaunty hats that will only sit right if the stewardesses wear their hair up. I hesitate to use the word "new", since I thought they all looked like the Andrews Sisters from the war years. I'm only glad that with current fashion trends and Julien Macdonald's reputation for dressing the stars, the British Airways crews won't be baring their bellybuttons or wearing their trousers low-slung. Mr Costello may have had a public dressing-down from the incoming designer. But he can afford to bow out very gracefully, smiling all the while. ********** How sad it was to read of the death from a brain tumour at the age of just 25 of rugby player Soakai Otuvaka, who came from Tonga to Britain as a teenager and made our area his home. Judging by the tributes that have been paid to him he had endeared himself to thousands of people in his all too short time among us. Hopefully his family, widow Jenny and two little ones will always know the warmth he engendered. ********** Isn't it funny that, with so many concerns about to marketing junk food to children, we have just lived through four weeks of Easter egg price warfare? Is Easter really about how many chocolate eggs we give, get and eat? Double standards again -- only this one really does make one sick. | 
